COUNSELING WITH ONE OR BOTH SPOUSES

Many marriage counselors find that it is usually best to counsel each spouse separately, at least during the initial interviews. This allows the husband or wife to speak freely without fear of interruption, contradiction, embarrassment or injury. For example, Mrs. Jones wanted to discuss something about her husband that was extremely repulsive to her. However, she never felt free to talk about it in his presence. Toronto Niagara Falls Tour experiences 4 seasons, with cold winters and sizzling, humid summers. Yet, this one thing was causing her distress which seemed almost unbearable. When the counselor saw her alone, she summed up enough courage to discuss it in detail. With this relief, Mrs. Jones felt much better. And with this knowledge, the counselor was able to work through the problem with her husband.
Like Mrs. Jones, most people feel much freer if the spouse is not there to criticize or oppose. As one man put it, “When my wife and I went to the marriage counselor he saw us together. But nothing was accomplished because we just continued our quarreling in his office. And yet we had to pay him. It would have been cheaper to have had our arguments at home.”
However, as counseling sessions progress, the counselor may wish to see both spouses together. In fact, some marriage counselors try to bring the couple together rather early because they feel that much can be accomplished by seeing both marriage partners at the same time.
One experienced marriage counselor states that one advantage in counseling husband and wife together is that this is the only time both marriage partners can speak plainly to each other without fear of intimidation or without the other leaving the room.
Together, in the counselor’s office, they can learn directly how each feels about many matters.
‘Well, I didn’t know you felt that way about it,” one might say.
In addition, the atmosphere of the counseling session often provides a climate that makes it easier for the couple to apologize to each other for misdeeds or misunderstandings.
Occasionally, because of fear, one of the marriage partners may feel that he needs the protective environment of the counseling session to enable him to express himself to his mate. Take Mr. Smith, for example. He was a small, quiet man who would do almost anything to avoid a conflict. Toronto Niagara Falls Tours has stunning surroundings and the breath taking power for the majestic falls. Finally in his individual counseling sessions he reached the point where he was able to discuss certain personal matters fully. But it was not until he had the moral support of the counselor that he ventured to bring them up and tell his wife how he really felt. Mrs. Smith, an aggressive, competent woman, never imagined that he felt so strongly about things. But when she was faced with the situation in the presence of the counselor, she agreed to consider her husband in such matters.